Starting the new year single part 1

Hey everyone, So I decided to do a series on starting the new year single because while it is good and can be fun to be in a relationship it can also be very healing to be single especially if you’re like me and have been in a relationship, but it didn’t work out for different reasons. Plus, even if you haven’t been in a relationship, it’s still a good time to find yourself.  For me personally, I honestly wish I would have taken more time before I started dating to find myself and actually figure out what I wanted in a boyfriend. Because while I realize that what happened wasn’t my fault at the same time I also know now that I shouldn’t rush to commit and right now, I’m not ready to commit to 1 person for the rest of my life until I know what I want both out of life and out of a husband.  Both of which are taking some time to figure out.

For those of you who haven’t been in a relationship quite yet my advice to you is to take your time on starting to date and really think about what you want in your future significant other. Something that I did as a personal project is come up with dating guidelines for when I do start dating again. One of those guidelines is that he must agree to do bible study with me once a week for a year and must continue to do bible with me after we potentially start dating. I decided on that one in particular partly because it’ll show how committed he is to date me, but it’ll also show how committed he’ll be should we decide to date, and it’ll give both of you a chance to get to know each other better. Because I was cheated on which for the longest time did hurt but now it’s made me really consider what I want to be different when I start dating again which I honestly don’t know when that’ll be and I’m okay with that.

 1 Corinthians 7:32 says;” I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord.” Well, how can you please the Lord? Take a few minutes to think and pray about that question and this verse. Something that you can do while you are single is going on missions trips because I know from personal experience that missions trips can be very healing and you get the chance to help others both in their faith and with what they go through on a regular basis. Take my missions trip to South Dakota with Grace Church for example: During this particular missions trip, I was able to reach out not only to the kids there but also the adults as well which I’m very thankful that I was able to go on that missions trip.  That missions trip helped my faith as well and grow as a person as well.

This brings me to my next point. While you are single it can be very helpful to do personal development which can include anything from taking a class on any particular topic, you’re interested in going for a degree of some sort but most importantly it can include growing in your faith. 2 Peter 3:18 (NIV) says;” But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.”  Grow in grace and knowledge! I don’t know about you but to me, grace and knowledge are very similar when it comes to Christianity because take grace for example: with grace that means being kind to others even if they might not deserve it, and with the knowledge it’s knowing how much grace to give that particular person even if it means distancing or cutting yourself from their lives but still wishing them the best in life.

 Both of which are okay to do. It can also be very healing over time especially if that person hurt you really bad. I remember during the first few months after my ex-boyfriend blocked me, I did blame myself for a while even though there were people in my life that told me that what happened wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t until a little more than a year ago that I finally accepted that it wasn’t my fault. It was at a worship night at my church that I realized that what happened isn’t my fault and I remember after that night that’s when the healing process truly did begin for me. Because sometimes while it isn’t healthy to blame yourself for stuff that happens in your life sometimes that does happen and when it does happen just remember that God will always have your back even in the darkest of times. Which that time was dark but now because of that, I know that God will always be there for me, and he’ll be there for you as well no matter what happens. Just remember to be patient with yourself and let yourself feel whatever emotions you need to feel in order to heal from whatever life throws at you. I’ll go into more detail in the next blog post. As I close, I just want to challenge you to remember to breathe whenever life gets crazy. As always, If you ever need to talk, have any questions, have any prayer requests anything feel free to comment below, message me on Facebook through this blog’s Facebook page, or email me at Homeschoolgradblog@gmail.com. Thanks for reading!